Songs of ‘Home’: The Spaces In Between

Mum and Dad (photo by Jill Kerswill)

This piece is about small and consistent acts of love. Grand gestures are lovely, but it’s actually the little everyday things through which true love is demonstrated. The cups of tea, the messages asking how your day is going, the unexpected hug in the kitchen while tidying up after dinner. The knowledge that someone is thinking of you and has your back, no matter how crappy or wonderful your day has been.

I’ve been lucky enough to have incredible role models for this in my parents. It’s definitely not always been rosy (because, you know, marriage), but they are each other’s rock, and safe space to fall. There have been some almost unendurable trials in the past decade - we didn’t think that Dad would be here now but he was discharged from palliative care last year (who even does that?!) - and it’s an absolute joy to see them both embracing life again, although it’s different than before.

Throughout it all, Mum has been there for all the appointments, the unending dressing and redressing of wounds, the countless scans, tests and procedures the chemo, radiation and immunotherapy, the times when it felt hopeless and impossible. Last year was so hard for everyone in our family, but it forces you to stock and notice all the small things. The way that Mum and Dad’s love has grown even stronger despite everything has been a privilege to witness.

During one of the darkest moments in mid-2024, I sat down to just play, to find some kind of solace in the chaos and grief. This piece seemed to fall out, almost complete, as if the universe wanted to help me process everything that was happening and reassure me that it was going to be ok, no matter what happened.

Real love is not necessarily flowers on Valentine’s Day, or big showy displays of affection for other people to see. It’s the quiet, unspoken, unseen acts that happen in the spaces in between, the everyday things that make life worth living and love worth treasuring.

The Spaces In Between is inspired by and dedicated to my parents, Paul and Kerri Crooks, and the family that they have lovingly built over 47 years of marriage.